His pubic hair was longer than his dick
do you remember the random banging on my door at 3 am wearing 2 budlight cases as a dress
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
Hey, you remember years ago when you told me you would give me a kidney?
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
Pride is not for the college student young Padawan. Tequila is for the college student.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
I'm just trying to figure out the reason why humans wear socks....
Randomize
