Just passed a sign for an "adult food and fuel superstore". Wtf does that even mean?
im not sure but a few things come to mind which just makes me giggle
Guys should not giggle. Ever.
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
If for any reason you were wondering if i was going to vomit at the airport today, the answer is yes.
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
Mission get my tooth back and find a new dick to ride starts after i sleep for the first time in 2 days.
What did he say? I couldn't hear him over the sound of how awesome his beard is.
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
Cat. Why do you sit on things I need to use.
Because it is cat.
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I refuse to plan drunken casual sex. Just think of the monster I'd create.
Cocaine bath bombs are a really bad idea
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
