Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
you said your puke was red because you were proud to be an american.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just convinced someone I was a virgin. I love when people don't know me.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
She told me she was going to ride me so hard i would cum the ghosts of my ancestors...its gonna be a good time
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
The highlight of the night was when he yelled "WAS THIS CONDOM MADE FOR TODDLERS??"
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
THEY LEFT ME IN A CLUB BY MYSELF. I’M SO ANNOYED. I’M GOING TO FUCK THEIR BARTENDER FRIEND. Caps only because I’m really mad.
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize