How is your vagina???
Double booked
With your butt?
Totes, candlesticks and all
Yay!!
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
sorry for throwing an entire water bottle of vodka at you. It was very wasteful
Travelers Top-Tip: Europeans do not appreciate being repeatedly referred to as "gypsy" regardless of how good your Borat impression is.
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
Randomize
