I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
judging by the cake all over the hall, my neighbors had a pretty successful thursday too.
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Well I didn't get a shacker shirt but I somehow managed to come home with superman socks
Omg I just woke up. In the hallway outside my room. I know you had something to do with this
like sometimes I wish I was allergic to latex so I wouldn't have sex with so many people..
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
