69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Care to explain why there is sushi in the soap dish in the bathroom
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
Dude if her licking my face hammered isn't love I don't really want to know what love is.
Thats Poetry
Please don't judge me for my hormonal purchase, judge me for my awesome rack.
I wish I were single again so I could actually have sex.
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
