the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
Guys who wear capris make me want to kill endangered species.
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
Just saw a british exchange student take a flyer for free dental care. Yes.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I kept petting the scarves and telling customers to "feel that shit"
Stop drinking at work.
If sitting in the car passing a flask back and forth because the bar we go to is having some power issues on Christmas eve isn't Christmas spirit, then I don't know is.
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
We fucked through the entire Destiny's Child album, it was a beautiful thing.
if Anne Taylor knew what she did in her clothes, she'd be banned from the store.
oh come on, it's the perfect length summer dress to blow a stranger in the bathroom in
So we came to a decision, you need to fuck your hot roommate and send us pictures. We voted, so don't hate the democracy this great country stands for
I think my nap took me to another dimension
just turned another straight guy gay. Goddamn the church must hate me
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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