I don't even know what he looks like, all i've seen of him is his dick
the rest of him looks just as crooked
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I probably would do him if given the chance but how awkward would Bible study be after that.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Think i may just have managed the saddest high-five in history. Finished a sudoku and high-fived myself, then looked around for somebody to high five. there was noone. forever alone.
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
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