Are we in a gay sports bar?
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Chasing a shot of svedka with a clementine is NOT the same as tequila w lime...
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
I want to throw all of their shoes in the pool so I feel like there is some justice in the world
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You were taking in your sleep. You were like Jess that's that animal we were talking about and you Hugged her feet
It makes me feel all patriotic & free... And borderline diabetic.
Doing a walk of shame at Wal-Mart at 3:30am because when I left at 11pm I was getting milk
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Just blew on a shot of whiskey to cool it off, like it was soup...
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