she's got that wholesome 16 and pregnant look.
Wow i just got reported to security for being a homeless person trying to break into the library.
I'm not sure what's more surprising, the fact that she said I reminded her of Danny Devito, or the fact that it got me laid.
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried to get you something for Valentine's Day too but they said they couldn't deliver skittles and ecstasy :(
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
We had sex during an intermission, then the second period. The bruins better win. Missing a period isn't worth having sex with him
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The amount of drunk I'm going to get tonight will be somewhere between Jim lahey and bojack horseman
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
I absolutely love waking up to see my phone search history is "xj" "qj" "cj" "uj" and "kj"
Why are there naked heterosexuals in my apartment?
Randomize