8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
So I just introduced myself to this guy in front of me and now he's saving my pictures on facebook to his phone..
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
I take back everything bad I said about that song party in the usa. There's just something about seeing a cross dresser lipsing it that makes a song sooo much better.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
I tried to put the left over margartia in a box for you but they wouldn't let me
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
I think I shall call his penis Gatsby. We talk about it all the time, but I never see it.
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
but like who hasn’t gotten fingered at the state fair?
Randomize
