Let me rephrase. Would it display my intentions too much if i walked all the way across my office and into the bathroom carrying my book
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
She just locked herself in the bedroom with an unopened bottle of wine and a steak knife. Unfortunately for her fingers, I stopped giving a fuck two hours ago.
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
When are you going to accept the fact he is gay?
Come on... He's just practicing.
Ok. That's acceptable.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
Well the cops were called after the kid fell, but we saw 4 cute guys from our window while it was going down, so it wasn't all that bad.
Randomize
