Define "chronic" masturbator.
you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
I'm not really sure how I got home, but judging by this headache, i'm assuming it involved bourbon.
I finally won that bet on when the anorexic girl would pass out at the gym. You owe me 10 now
I just want dick. Yours just gets priority because it is glorious
How many beers are too many "cause it's Archer Thursday" beers?
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
Dear lord though. So much glitter. It's just a big gay explosion and all of my whore muscles hurt.
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
I know you saw me get knocked out after I stepped on that rake why did you leave me there
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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