"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Ugh I just know that when I take off his pants his underwear will have Megan's Law written all over them.
Update: no underwear. Greeeeen light.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
It's all fun and games until the last slice of pizza gets bong water spilled on it.
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
Most eventful shower ever. Jacked off, peed and puked in there.
she let a homeless guy feel her up so she could go for a ride in his shopping cart
Hey everyone. This evenings celebration will commence with a cocktail hour at genghis at 830 to be followed with an upscale dining experience at taco bell at 10. All are welcome. This is not a joke. Thank you
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I don't care if we're married you can't just walk into the bedroom with a pizza box expecting to get laid
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Pretty sure my parents just hear me get off from the living room but I feel like they should be proud that I did it without a man honestly.
we've talked on the toilet we're linked now
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