A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
I just woke up at my desk with "To Whommmmmmmmm" typed on a letter. I have no memory of waking up, getting dressed or driving in.
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There is a good chance that the other night after a wedding reception i was at that i mailed you a drink coaster.
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
What kind of costume was that supposed to be??
I'm an orgasm trader!
Fun thought: I realized the thing I miss most about him is dixie kong's double trouble on his super Nintendo. It's possible that I don't have a soul.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
HE'S LIKE A GREEK GOD BUT HE'S FROM BOSTON. HE'S A BOSTON GOD
pray to him
I WANNA PRAY ON HIS DICK
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
where are my eyebrows?
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