so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
you're like the Neil Armstrong of terrible hookups, you are a pioneer
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
VAGINAS ASSEMBLE!
I'm not seeing this movie with you.
I have a new favorite bar game. It's called, get dressed up and go drinking alone then make up random stories of why you are alone to look less like an alc
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Shit dude that sort of wholesale destruction can't just be done at the drop of a hat
I found myself looking up beard accounts while masturbating, I guess that's what it's come to.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You chugged Absolut from a beer bong. Why WOULDN'T you be a champion?
my Mom is now my Eskimo sister... she fucked my ex in my bed and took a selfie
Sorry I didn't have my phone all night. Did we hang last night?
You bit me
Oh lord I need to hear this story
Randomize
