dude...i just woke up in ****'s bed!
doesn't he have a girlfriend???
yeah...who do you think woke us up...
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
He also complimented my butt. High praise coming from a boob guy.
I'm glad there seems to be a general consensus regarding your ass
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
