i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
well thats why i like him. because he makes you happy. on the other hand i think he masturbates too much while texting you.
How come I'm the only one who's around when people show up? I had just taken a shit, I wasn't wearing pants, phantom of the opera was playing and the fridge said PENIS.
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
my tonsil wound opened up during the kegstand but i stopped it with a popsicle
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
this is getting really bad. i thought the chandelier in the dining room was one of those claws from the claw games in an arcade and i spent the past five minutes jumping left to right so the claw wouldn't grab me
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
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