Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
there's a girl in the library on mysapce. she must have missed the memo.
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
You totally left a blue butt print on our banister
Well I think we can all agree that that's better than then bowl of puke I left last time.
This needs to stop. I just vacuumed the wall. Adderall is a double edged sword.
When you started Hi-fiving people I knew u were fucking gone. You slapped some dude on the shoulder when he wouldn't hi-five you and he asked if he even knew you
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
He's trying to get everyone in the bathtub for a team meeting about how we're gonna find his car. Which is parked outside. Think we should cut him off?
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Guess who won a bet and gets to name it Optimus prime if it's a boy
Nevermind. Totally worth it.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
We got high and watched Winnie the Pooh. Isn't that what every normal person does on their break?
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
