all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
Please don't tell me I was shouting "I'm bleeding from my vagina" in front of my ex-boyfriend and his new girlfriend.
I was really sad when you left and cried. And i don't know what a face promise is, but apparently i made you make one.
Hes screaming about Slender man. whatever hes on is probably not healthy.
I put an asterick after the names of people in my phone that I've fucked. Both as a form of bragging, and also so I can actually remember all their names.
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
My dad made a joke about you sending me strippers for valentine's day so clearly everything here is normal
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Randomize
