Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
And her vagina tasted EXACTLY like a slim jim
I just bought condoms at Big Lots. please save this text so you can laugh at me in 9 months
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
He ended up walking out of his bedroom and told me to look at the nonexistent fire he was holding in his hand. Im upset I didn't take those shrooms.
If you would give me the chance we might have the two separate pieces of the greatest fuck puzzle ever.
just used my nephews bottle to take my birth control
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
Triple a is towing cars for free tonight and tomorrow night. Can we take advantage of this ?
Yeah man it sucked balls. People on the bus probably thought I was fucking crazy. I was fetal position, taking up two seats with no shame whilst simultaneously panting.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
He said that I started crying after sex because he was leaving to go back to Europe after the semester was over and I wouldn't see his dick anymore. This is why I need to stop hooking up with the exchange students.
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Wanted to let you know I hooked up with your brother.
i thought he was gay wtf
My roommate's overnight guest is screaming about the dog licking his asshole. I need a new place to live.
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