He was legit dry humping me to the sportscenter theme song, awkward i think SO.
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
She's in the middle of blacking out but is singing Mariah carey songs. Hitting every note.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Finals are done.. I just wanna get drunk and pretend I'm a seahorse.
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Randomize
