Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
champagne bombs. Yes, i think that is where things may have gotten out of control.
So you know that marine I slept with, well his girlfriend just told me I was pretty, I almost feel bad for sleeping with him now...
Dont! You were just serving you country
all i could think was her face looked like a farm accident
i will replace your cream cheese. there's enough for breakfast. you are my friend. i had guests we wanted bagels so bad im sorry. i left you notes. i love you. you have enough for a bagel or two and i will get you more. you are so pretty.
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
kool aid jammers and 151...our childhood has officially been corrupted.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
He sent me a picture of him trying to push his cock into a Gatorade bottle. I dont know if I'm impressed it didn't fit and disgusted that he sent me something so vile.
Youre having a picnic
Yeah but all we have is vodka, so it's getting a bit out of hand.
Very unfortunate to find out the kid who took your virginity has never seen Star Wars🙃
He said 'I really struggle with the sin of lust' then we proceeded to have sex. So I guess it was a perfectly executed Catholic pick up line?
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Randomize
