I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
The jonas brothers playing in your laptop. This is why guys won't sleep with you...
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
she keeps a pillow, blanket, and a pack of saltines under the bathroom sink, for "rough nights".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
Pros and cons of selling your underwear to a guy on craigslist. Go.
Come down off the roof.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
Bitch are you kidding? 2016 is gonna be the year our pussies run for president
Tell me I'm drunk and you have to come get me. It's usually true. They'll believe you.
Randomize