idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
hey can you give me head? jesse told me that you're really good
who is this?
jesse's little brother
so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
if it were possible I'd exchange my vagina for a diff one on the black market.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
In case you were unaware playing with rabbits on ecstasy is the greatest thing ever. I feel like I'm ODing on adorable right now.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
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