he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I love my grandma, but if I have to sit and watch one more show on Bravo, I'm gonna burn her fuckin house to the ground
I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
I basically go to him for great dick and great memes.
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