She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
his prince albert piercing just severely cut the roof of my mouth. can you pick me up at the hospital if he drops me off?
So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
i cleaned out my closet and found 7 beers from 2007. ive had 3 so far.
I don't think anyone has ever said "boy I'm glad I took those shots of everclear" when they wake up
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
A monkey stole my iPod. This was not in the fucking study abroad brochure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
He has no idea he’s my boyfriend.
Bad part of last night: I puked in my hair. Good part of last night: I assembled a posse.
You kept pulling me aside saying "look what I found"
Randomize