how do you wash the taste of whore out of your mouth?
let's just say I never want to get pulled over and have to explain to the cop why I'm wearing a false beard again.
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Idea for the cake. Joints for candles. Do it.
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
They way I see it is I've wasted 7 years of having these glorious tits. I only have about 3 good years left before idk kids or just gravity takes over and they don't look this nice so it's basically open season.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
Can I just keep holy water in the night stand next to the vibrator?
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
Randomize