i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
no.. I went home. Puking up hot dogs and lemon tart isn't as lovely as it sounds.
The hookah bar is playing i'm on a boat. I believe in god again.
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
So there I was.....spitting on my goldfish just to keep it alive.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
At the ER, will you come pick me up... Had an allergic reaction, wanted to see if I could eat a peanut without dying... Do you how bad this is evolutionary, I would have died back in the days of survival of the fitest by now
Attempting to sleep without a bra since i got my nips pierced wish me luck. Also almost sent that to my coworker.
if i had known the extra weight would have gone to my tits, i would have started drinking years ago
May he have a McRib induced stroke and lose the feeling in his tastebuds.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
Randomize
