He is such a slut. More and more my type.
FYI-Owning a kitty significantly lowers your chances of ever seeing mine...
One of my students just wrote an essay on how ninjas, like drug addicts, must realize they need help before they can get better...I gave it an A+
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
dude i've broken up a marriage, I think I can handle a simple engagement.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
She sent me a video of herself sitting in the car stone faced listening to the Titanic song on silence. She won't answer my texts.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
I admire the fact that you replicated my apartment on the roof but I would appreciate it more if you would move all my stuff off the roof and back into my apartment.
Randomize
