Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
Dude, don't freak out but the girl who stuck the hair brush in her ass is here. I can't look her in the eye!!
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I don't know how but I have our hotel room door handle in my purse... this can not be good
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
1.) where are you? 2.) you making meatballs? 3.) Meatballs for sex?
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I like to think it's an accomplishment that I can relate my life to a T-pain song
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
We literally laid down in the back of my car and had sex in a parking lot and it was in the top 3 best moral-less decisions I've made.
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
I discovered moonshine and fell in love.
Randomize
