I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
I found him crying and drunk, in my closet holding a picture of Tyler Perry. He managed to say"he's just so many people"
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
he just looked at me, said "i think i'll keep you around, you put the seat back up and everything," and then burst into tears.
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
She's crying about either her ex boyfriend, her one night stand, or her own puke. None of those is worth the tears.
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Been smoking since 4. The inevitable finally happened: I bought a cheesecake.
I drank Dr. Pepper and instant breakfast mix together and threw up sober for the first time.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
