there's another hole in my ceiling...someone fell through the attic this time....
its sad that I know 23 beers will fit into my purse
If i pass out for a while at graduation, please atleast TRY to wake me?
hand shaped bruises on both boobs again....i wish i could say this is the first time.
I left after my shirt got dropped in the toilet thinking that there was absolutely no good that could happen the rest of the evening. I hear I was very wrong.
I just put fruit snacks in my sangria instead of real fruit. Its like freshman year all over again..
We couldn't afford sangria freshman year. We're lucky we had fruit snacks..
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
Hey. Make all the seamen/semen jokes you want. Not many people can say they fucked 2 different girls in two different countries in one week on a tax free bonus. Next up: Italy.
This heat and humidity do not mix with these braless DDs and a tank top at a BBQ.
He's a fucking asshole. Who gives good head. And seriously I have never seen someone less committed to hair color
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
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