Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
she takes plan B like it's going out of style
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
#1 benefit of having an equality sticker on my car: some girl flashed me while i was driving home
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
You know it's been a good thanksgiving when you pee all over your own hands.
Cute boy and deffffff wearing a HS shirt. I am getting too old to be inaccurate.
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
His dad and I had a drunk conversation about life. At 4 am he told me that I was 21 and cute and should fuck whoever I want.
If you had asked me 10 years ago where I thought I'd be right now at 26 years old, I can bet you one million dollars that "tweezing out my nose hairs before I go in to get laser hair removal on my upper lip" would NOT have been the answer
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Her cat was breathing in my ear all night, like that kid from Hey Arnold.
Randomize
