ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
I'm pretty sure you can't just waltz into a walk in clinic and ask them to de-baby you.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
I hope that he knows just because i pissed in his bed doesn't mean were together.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
He threw me over his shoulder and carried me outside, all the while drinking from the bottle of rum he was holding, while my ex watched. I'm winning the break-up.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
If waking up at 6 50 pm every day and getting invited to go have sex as you wake up is what alcoholism is like I can get use to this.
I think I ejaculated my soul out.
You know it's bad when I'm eating a cold chicken breast alone in bed 😕
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
Between falling off a shelf on to a concrete floor and sex with you - i may never walk again.
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