bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
how do you spell 'special'? like slow?
S P E L L C H E C K
No you dumbass thats not right
I just saw a midget ride by on a scooter...wearing a bowtie and a helmet. My life is complete.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
im just going to wait until i dont feel like the grim reaper is having sex with me
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
So I fucked her. If you're keeping score at home, it's all tied up with horrible sex with someone I like and great sex with someone I hate both with 1.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Please don't place wagers on my sex life unless you are giving me a cut. With my current sluttiness I feel like I deserve 40% for how much money you'll make
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Randomize
