So I fucked an Aussie broad with huge feeders last nite 2x... Before banging her she was blowin me & I thought: "SHE IS GOIN DOWN-UNDER ON ME". Laughed out loud
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
get your tongue out of his mouth and answer your phone. if your not doing more than making out i'm gonna be so pissed. i'm about to sleep in your car bitch
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
Aren't you glad we're at the point in our relationship where I don't even ask why you're hiding in the cabinet?
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
You never know, some chick could have a weird unibrow fetish.
There's a Russian guy here. In the bar. Drinking vodka. Wearing a trench coat and a hat and a mustache. Idk where the confusion is.
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
for the record im never blowing a guy on the toilet again, that was sad and degrading
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
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