I woke up naked in my living room and my mom was next to me like we need to talk
I plan on using my big titties for evil tonight.
doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
it was like eating out sand paper
if you do not get any action from him tonight, I am personally walking my drunk ass over there grabbing his tongue and sticking it in your mouth. this is getting ridiculous
Because ur a stupid bitch
Actually, I'm graduating from college on Saturday so that makes me a well educated bitch.
youre just mad because i have donuts and im beautiful
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
I don't know if apple cider everclear was such a good idea
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
We haven't had hot water in our dorm all weekend. Do you know if there is any other way to wash off shame?
Randomize
