In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
he had a TATTOO on his FACE. a tattoo on your face basically says "i've gone as far in society as i'd like to."
I'm beginning to feel kind of at home at Police stations
Apparently Sundays are the worst days for your friends to get their head split open and need stitches...there's only 1 doctor on duty
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
You know whats not fun? Making yourself throw up on a sand dune at 4 in the morning.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Will Smith has a direct hotline to my emotions
The usual, icing my vag with a chimichanga.
It's not my fault I make her feel like a Taylor Swift album
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