She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
we were wasted and he didn't have a condom so he called the front desk and asked for one. They didn't "officially" have them but the night manager happened to have one in his wallet. He brought it to the room with two mints.
i just got cockblocked by a guy drinking wine straight out of the bottle with a straw...
It is official. It's the year of doin married chicks. Similar to the year of virgins but without all the baggage.
I have a busted ear drum from when he honked his horn when we started to have sex on his car in the parking lot...
My nephew just told me I smell like apathy and regret. Thats the hangover I'm dealing with
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
Just peed in the fountain while its snowing. Fell flat on my ass, literally my butt naked ass in a pile of snow. It's safe to say I'm done with drinking on weekdays
So in the middle of making out, he decided to give me a breast exam. God I love dating a doctor. He saved me a $20 copay.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
That edible kicked in right as I was upside-down on that rollercoaster. Fucking.mind.blown.
I just want to give face wipes a shout out for being there when im too tired or high to wash my face at night
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
Randomize
