I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
PS- I just stirred my mimosa with a slice of bacon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
I will pre answer that I did not see it the fun way. He was peeing outside.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize