I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
you threw up in the oven last night. i found that out after i preheated it to cook a pizza.
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
I had to use the resin knife to take the staples out of my tax return forms. Tax returns and a search warrant?
She pointed at me and told her friend, I'm going to fuck him, its going to be really loud, so yes, i need the whole basement.
it's been like two and a half months. And I swear, I keep seeing walking dicks. I think I'm going crazy cause of lack of sex..
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Yeah, well I just made $600 while taking a shut cause two diff clients called while I was in here. Tell me being a lawyer doesn't kick ass.
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
How did I get up here...did jesus lift me up
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