tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
i saw the poster for your lost tequila... what a shame
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
Every time I try to stand up the back of my head feels like a bunch of little elves are beating the inside of my scalp with their toy making tools. What disease could this be?
How can I explain how nice he is to you? ...like, I'm going to have to have my world famous why being a douche is sexy talk.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
at what point last night did i get this tattoo of an anchor made of dicks?
around eleven
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
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