And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
So for his birthday I'm planning on doing what stripper did when she put the matches on her nipples..lights them n makes him blow them out..SEE I AM dating material.
next person that tells me Facebook is a professional tool is getting kicked in the teeth.
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
I'm currently day drinking, studying and making corn. Don't tell me what I can't do.
Last time we had a party like that I woke up naked on the pool table with a chalk outline around me and a empty bottle of jager duct taped to my hand.
Yea. I'm excited about this party too
Why Weren't you wearing pants?
because pants are for people with no imagination
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
listen. he fixes things. buys me drinks and sticks his penis in my vagina. age means nothing at this low point in my life.
You called it motorboating but you just snot rocketed into my tits.
I'm just saying, if you haven't been dropped off at a Wawa at 5:30 in the morning by 3 cop cars, you're missing out
You should come over tomorrow. Wine, pizza and my vagina. Those are all great things.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
Randomize
