PS the last 3 guys I've hooked up with were a CEO, a mechanical bull operator and a magic the gathering player...I need a type...
Ur type is ready and willing
I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
Don't feel too badly. Until twenty minutes ago my paper was a heading and a pizza order.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
You threw a hot dog at his face...I wouldn't call you either.
I'm too tired to go all the way tonight, especially if you're going to quote Katy Perry at me during
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
Sitting in the library studying = googling how to get laid in the library.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
I'm potentially being cockblocked by Old Man Winter. What the fuck did I do to piss off an entire season?
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Randomize
