um i just realized that some of the people at my family reunion look inbred. thats not a good sign.
hahaha beady eyes set close together? defs inbred.
my dads cousin just put a cig in his dogs mouth and says, "look its a commercial for newport!" holy hell i hope im adopted.
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
Today might be the day that I legitimately throw up in my saxophone.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
He needs to respect me before he can fuck me with cat ears on.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last I saw, they went for a smoke and only one came back. He passed out outside. I'm glad he's only 120lbs. I left him on the rug still. My mom is gonna be pissed.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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