On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
i was so drunk he made me beileve the song was called "thanksgiving sex."
He won't talk to me. He'll only communicate using scissors
my parents are out trying to convince the local liquor stores to post "do not sell our daughter alcohol" flyers. i'm preping my defense now.
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Those people that talk about exercise endorphins have never experienced a 9x13 pan of mac n cheese endorphins
learning about efficiency and effectiveness in an administration seminar. real world application: walking across the street to the pub on break to shotgun a beer.
Randomize
