the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
not my fault. i got her to believe he wrote an oasis song. he still managed to find a way to make sure no girl ever gets near his penis.
you yelled then hung up at the girl on information bc she could not pinpoint your location and tell you how to get to dennys
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
Bring it all. We will have a potluck of drugs. It will be magical.
Crumbling up chips, putting them in salsa, eating with spoon. New level of stoner fatassery. Its so genius/delicous i'm not even ashamed
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omfg amy I'm not kidding you I think a blow job is what landed me in the hospital
Company sent me first class out of state, got so drunk on the plane I started handing out pillows and blankets to the people in coach
All I've consumed in the last 24 hours is cranberry vodka and kosher for passover biscotti
That's what happens when you party with the tribe
There is a video of you making out with him, flipping off the camera, and holding the plastic flamigo that you had just stolen out of a yard
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
sooo, that video of you eating lasangna with the strobe going magically reappeared on my phone
Randomize