Let's start a violent farting gang. We can do walkbys.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
So I just learned that my father was teaching me rules for drinking games when I was 5.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
Just drove through Taco Johns wearing a drug rug and no pants. When I rolled down my window, the girl paused for a minute before saying "um... 4.07"
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Just put your hair in a bun. We're going out to drink, not to impress people.
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
And by pregame I mean drink heavily and watch Russian dash cam car crash vids
I saw an episode of cops that had one of my ex husbands on it.
Randomize
