How can i ever say i miss u when u wont go away
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
Wait, how is it that I'm just getting ready to go out and you're already showing your penis to freshmen girls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
We are finally out of the honeymoon stage of the relationship because it turns out that you can't come back from peeing on me in your sleep.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i know. like I have the nerve to talk about poverty. I eat peanut butter out of the jar.
I feel like a pet sloth would complement my lifestyle.
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
I have alotted at least an hour for ugly crying.
He weighed maybe 130, his dick had to be 30 of it. SO BIIIIG.
Not gonna make it. His stripper neighbors are playing a Super Bowl drinking game that involves removing my clothes
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