if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
I will also inform you that stairs change when you change a house. Those hurt.
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
she told me I give head better than a lesbian. I know it's a great compliment but it kind of threw me off.
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
We broke into the space center. If i go to jail I wanted to tell you, you have a fantastic dick. Use it wisely.
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
you should have walked with me to my car. you just missed a girl rip off her bra and throw it into a dumpster and scream mardi gras
Bang-toberfest begins!!
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Let's say hypothetically if you were going to put icing on a penis and then lick it clean...what would you ice it with? Not a knife right?
He fucked me while wearing a unicorn horn. I think I have found the one...
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
Randomize
