he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
Your drunken mistake is coming over to see if she wants to buy any of our furniture. I know youre desperate, but try not to fuck her, without a condom, for a fourth time, while shes there.
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
do you remember when we thought we were both knocked up by the same guy like two days apart and would have half twins? Thats a best friend moment.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
Were you drinking last night?
Because typically I don't associate the phrase 'Go sleepy time' with sobriety.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I don't want to hook up with him sober. That's pretty much like saying I love you.
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