Oh. They ARE dating. Kinda sad. Have such an urge to be a huge bitch and steal him but my morality is in the way. FUCK YOU MORALITY.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
you were sitting on the floor cleaning up your own puke and telling my mom she should hire you as a maid.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Slip and slide hallway was not one of my better ideas.
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
