I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
Your friends ate a hole through an entire loaf of bread
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
I found my keys in the basement freezer. Drunk me is a sneaky little bastard.
You left me a voice message at 5 a.m. It was mostly incoherent noise, you screaming my name and then something about a man with two butt holes...
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
I was angry that a college kid had a new Audi
so I peed on it
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
the party picked up after I got pretty drunk...I got kicked in the fucking head by a tiny lesbian...she was 5'1" I did not think she could do it...i was very wrong
Nothing much. Just taking shots of tequila before I go get a bikkini wax. You?
Pretty sure my aunt hooked up with one of my brothers frat brothers at his graduation party
Randomize
