Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
im drinking italian dressing and watching dexter. its 230am. lets never drink on sundays again.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
it was one of those unspoken contracts of silence like "I teach your daughter and you work at a strip club"...I don't tell if you don't
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
idk what the male equivelent of vajazzling is but it better be worth the time
Just left the ER. Only good thing... my hot ass nurse Carlos stripped me.
God works in mysterious ways.
If we were unicorns we would fly together. Like in a pack. A pack of flying unicorns
Randomize
