yo dibs on the gosselin haired one.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
Who was that couple sleeping in your bed with us last night?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Dude, for twins they have shockingly different blowjob styles.
STOP FUCKING MY SISTERS!!!!
Do you think if i wear this shirt with my bengals boxers this kid will fall out of love with me a little bit because that's what I was going for.
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I never turn down an adventure. My life is like a sexual Lord of the Rings.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
I have to tell him to stop eating me out so I'm not late for work; my life could be a lot worse.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
Randomize
