Random question, how's your gag reflex these days
Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
I just used my med student white coat as ID to buy beer at 9 in the morning
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
so apparently the car got towed with me passed out in the back seat.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I researched the whole pregnancy breast feeding with piercings. I think you dont have to worry about the trifecta milk spraying thing.
Imagine Captain Hook, but in penis form and sometimes shy.
He's so drunk he thinks he's the ultimate warrior. Told cops he was from parts unknown. Never broke character
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
If it snows I'm making an igloo and getting wasted in it
It was sweet, he carried me out of my bathroom after I passed out, built me a pillow fort so I wouldn't roll out of bed, set a glass of water on the table, and brought me a mixing bowl to puke in. Totally a sign we're more than just fuckbuddies.
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