I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
Hey, could you leave the door unlocked? Keys seem hard right now.
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
As I was driving her home she congratulated each and every deer we saw for making it through the first day of dear season.
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
just mapquested my walk of shame from saturday..bye bye freshman 15
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
She called my landing strip a "vagina mohawk"....
Lesbians are weird.
Why can't I live in a world where my only 2 options are rum bikini hot tub party or masturbating?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
Feels like someone put a cigar out where my butthole used to live
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
My dog got laid yesterday. Some lady came over with her husky to breed. He did it like a champ. I was so proud
I think it stinks she’s cheating on him. My vagina on the other hand is tingly thinking about a summer of sexual healing
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