My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
i might even pee on it at walmart i am so nervous
hey im home...im not sure how this mcdonalds got here but whatever im gonna eat it anyway.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
Theres a picture of me with cut up clothes rolling in the policeman's lawn, I missed you, summer.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
He got a slutty, ugly mother of a 7 year old, and I got a dog that only sleeps and shits on clean clothes. No one won in this break up.
we're all going for beer and wings at 7. inflate your girlfriend and bring her along too.
Makes sense. My grandma just did this shot. MY FAMILY KICKS ASS.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
Would it be irresponsible to use my tax refund for a boob job?
Yes. Highly encouraged though.
Shower wine is way better than shower beer.
The convent might be a nice break from real life
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