yeah well you didnt even puke from the alcohol. we cut you off and went to huck finn's and told you that the "irish cream" coffee creamers had baileys in it, so you shot down like eight of them and puked all over the floor. it was great. we cheered you on and everything
Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Just banged your ex. So it really is 'him, not you' in that he's gay. Rodeo champion gay.
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
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