You can tell alot about a person by their poo.. For example, he was a smoker.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
Idk how she did it. Either she watches freakier porn than I do, or I really need to go get tested.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
The worst part was when I went to go spit it out and rinse my mouth, his grandpa was in the bathroom, so I had to fucking wait. It was awful. I finally ran to the kitchen and prayed his parents didn't come out of their room.
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I think my biggest regret in life is not banging you in the science museum
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
I want you
Nvm, now I want someone who replies to my booty-call texts faster
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
