:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
I like the name aiden. he likes stella. I told him they're coming out of my vagina, and I will name them what I damn well please. Stella goes.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
Randomize
