It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
I texted her sayin "I gotta brush my teethn then Im omw" maybe hint to do the same
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
just had sex in his gielfriend's bed, and puked all over it. i need to get out of here.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Before you say anything, my vagine does NOT discriminate against young dads
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
just saw someone in just a bathrobe not even tied shut run to the bathroom with a facefull of cum. Someone had a good night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
You should've seen the look on the guys face when I demanded pho and a beer the second they opened. Obviously he doesn't understand hangovers
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
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