her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
My aunt just said- "pizza is like sex. Even if it ain't good it ain't bad." Obviously she doesn't know us too well.
i asked him how he could stand the smell of skunk. his answer was "it smells like good weed"...
They're drinking Schnapps out of Spaghetti-o's cans. Please come pick me up.
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sorry if I'm being weird. I'm dipping doritos in cabernet.
Birthday was great, I got entirely too drunk and made really poor life decisions. It was everything a birthday should be.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
Watching my ex make out with another girl is weird.
But she's wearing a jumpsuit so I feel better.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
Fuck twitter. Fuck men. Fuck bras. Fuck flip flops. Fuck makeup. Fuck perfume.
Randomize
