tfor prom could you pick me up wo bottles of champagne and a condom, please?
THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
she said her black crocs were her 'dress up crocs'
Yeah he gave the rest of the brownies to the bouncer that took his fake
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
you were leaning up against the wall pulling your shirt up asking girls to dance on you. your courage to do that is both admirable and frightening.
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
You screamed at oncoming traffic , "five dollars to punch this guy in taint!".
My boobs love her too. She makes them feel important even though they're small
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
