You can now add 30,000 feet to the places where I have puked
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
she told me if people cross their eyes and look at her, they say she looks like megan fox
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
I have way too big of a thanksgiving food baby to enjoy any of my old high school booty calls
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
Randomize
