make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
I'll name the documentary, "The Adventures of Megan's Vagina"
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Im going to need an iv of taco bell after this.
We have sex, then we talk about foreign policy. Its a win-win.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
She kept saying the tortilla understood her. I honestly don't know where she found a tortilla at the pool.
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
He fell on top of me at a party. I slept with him a week later. We've been fucking for 2 moths. Most successful relationship ever.
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
You said the best orgasm you ever had, you gave to yourself. your boyfriend looked really disappointed. so did half the room.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
