Let's just say he looked at my vagina like it was a rubics cube.
Just try to make good decisions...remember our convo we had about morals the other day?
Turn them off?
currently walking past a fire hyrdrant with a hose already attatched.. this could be dangerous..
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
I recommend just blowing him. It's always the way to go.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
He was an asshole the entire night and then tried to touch my dick in a Michaels craft store.
Sooooo, no second date?
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
Randomize
