Im handcuffed to some kid i hardly know. there are no cops involved
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
Well, I was going to ask you what happened to all my lipstick. Until I saw the giant red penis on my living room wall.
Half my make-up was stuck to his thigh where I'd fallen asleep after the blowjob.
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Hearing them have a conversation is like listening to water buffalo have sex. Awkward and scarring.
I woke up with Pop Rocks stuck to my ass
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
whatever, tonight I’ll be getting my ass eaten by an aussie so we good
By the way, you totally deserve "i got a job sex".
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
