so the car was packed with everything from my dorm, plus my mom. during the 6 hour trip home she found my kama sutra. started flippin through it.....
oh shit that had to have been awkward
i thought so too. until she asked what the check marks were for
Motorboating on a tuesday night. not too shabby....
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
imagine how many guys you'd have sex if you didn't recieve your monthly gift.
Osama's death just kick started our Cinco de mayo celebration. Margaritas for anyone wearing red white and blue!
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Mate, you pissed in my bed. Then told me to "Just keep swimming"
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
I was "singing along to the Lego Movie" high. Everything was not awesome
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
The only people allowed to make me cry are myself and Chris Hemsworth as Thor. And me.
Randomize
