I dont like him- his parents were home and he hid me in his closet like anne frank
i just passed a truck with a bumper sticker saying "i'd rather be cummin than strokin." god bless the midwest.
McDonalds has hash browns for only a quarter!....how many u want?
All of them
You know you're at a low point when you're sucking vodka out if your hair.
Would you wanna look up as you cum and for a split-second see your dad?
Just tell your mom you have to go somewhere half naked with a strange man. She'll understand
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
when my phone is in portrait view you can just assume i've been watching porn. that's the only thing i want to see in full view.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
He just stopped in the middle of undressing for sex to dip his slice of pizza in ranch. I think I’m in love.
Can you send me the picture of me licking the cows udders?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
