I don't wanna hook up with anyone from minnesota
everybody there reminds me of mashed potatoes... white and lumpy
These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
gay flight attendant. racoons. kegels. bartender with missing teeth. too many birthdays. fucckk.
Both the cop and the paramedic were hitting on me while I was on the ambulance. My boob fell out and they just about had full on erections right there. They Came back two hours later to sign my cast with their phone numbers. #stillhotwhilebleeding
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
It was super embarrassing when I had to tell my brother, in front of my mother, that my wifi password was Drinkupbitches. Thanks for providing that lovely family moment.
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Just woke up in my fuck buddies bed with, from the looks of her ass and side boob, a girl that is not my fuck buddy. This should be interesting
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
My Sexting was not on an AP level
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
I just ordered a five person drink for myself.... Right about now you should start saving me from myself....
Randomize
