Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Now i know why people get high. I sat in the same chair for about 3 hours and the only thing i worried about was how far away my chinese food was.
What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
He's only a little bit crosseyed.
I think this is one situation where "a little bit" doesn't mean much.
I tried really hard to get you laid last night. And by that I mean I asked a bunch of dudes if they were top or bottom.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
She tried to ditch the cab before she payed but she forgot to grab her shoes and wake me up
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
so in addition to the two guys I slept with last night, and the third that I turned down this morning, a fourth has appeared. best Valentine's Day ever.
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
I am drunk shake weighting right now.
Randomize
