Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
we have a love-hate relationship...we love having sex but hate waking up next to eachother
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
If I had a nickel for every time my parents threatened to stop paying tuition I would be a very rich man. Rich enough to pay my own tuition.
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
She crossed her eyes and threw up into a glass while sitting at the bar. It was fifty shades of sketchy dude.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
I let my daughters ex boyfriend take me home from the bar. Hey, at least he's old enough to drink
Just calling to thank you for not dying. I love you.
I woke up at 2 AM to find them in my living room with a radio flyer wagon full of milk glass plates and a Holstein cow. How am I going to explain this to my landlord!?!
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
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