She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
as veruca salt said, "i want it now!"
uhh im not your indulgent father, stoned and im in the middle of making tacos. right now, tacos win
you ever wonder how lesbians feel about girls being in relationships with other girls on facebook? could it annoy them more than it annoys me?
we ended up doing shots out of those medicine cups..swine flu finally did something good for me
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
He was passed out on the floor holding a beer can, rolled over switched hands and never spilled a drop. We need to practice.
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Ok, Jen and I are going out tonight and getting rowdy. I think you and Steph need to come. I understand if you can't, but not going out means you're automatically obligated to post bail. If necessary.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
She kept crying and asking why I couldn't look more like Dennis quaid.
I slept with him that night and I'm not sure if my lack of enthusiasm was obvious but I found him eating ice cream in the bathtub the next morning. Mom will be so proud.
I found my wallet. Still have no idea when I put mad dog in my steel water bottle, though...
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
i think i just naturally attract stoners
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