So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
Good. Sleepy. In the middle of a pregnancy scare. The usual.
Id prob hit it, but i instagram edited her picture to make her look better. Ha. She should fuck me just for that.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
Apparently I give handjobs in my sleep. So that's interesting.
Wait what do you mean I BOUGHT A FUCKING HORSE LAST NIGHT?!?!
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Will exercising make me less horny?
Randomize
